When I was around 20 years old, I went through a difficult period in my young life. I had just graduated from school, a new chapter of my life was beginning, and I was quite unsure of what to do with myself.
Before I went to New York for Guru´s Birthday Celebrations in August 1996, I wrote him a long letter, telling him all my thoughts and worries and, most importantly, about some of my past behaviour which I felt had been “undivine.”
When I arrived in New York, the Celebrations were in full swing. As usual, there were many activities and functions with hundreds of disciples from all over the world. Guru was, as always during these days, very busy. I was quite uncertain if and when Guru would say something to me about my serious letter.
Then one day at Aspiration-Ground (the private tennis court where we all met), after Guru had finished playing tennis, he went down to the gully behind the court where he sometimes did his sprinting training.
I was sitting in the bleachers, when quite unexpectedly one of Guru´s attendants approached me to give me the message from Guru, that I should wait about ten minutes, then join Guru down in the gully. My heart started pounding, since it was very special and a great honour that Guru would bless me with this opportunity to speak to him personally.
After anxiously waiting for a few minutes, I walked along the path leading down to Guru´s training track, trying to be in a soulful consciousness. Guru was walking all alone in a meditative consciousness, and signaled me to walk by his side. It was a most beautiful and extraordinary moment to be in Guru´s close presence, not even a metre away. I could feel the immense love, power, and infinite concern that Guru was radiating.
As we slowly walked side by side, Guru quietly spoke to me for a few minutes, asking me this and that, all about my outer troubles of the past, and giving me some very practical advice. I felt so immersed in Guru´s world and felt clearly that he was in charge of everything in my life.
At one point Guru paused and then asked firmly, “Do you believe that I have realised God?” 1
“Yes, Guru,” I replied.
He continued most powerfully, “I am the ocean and you are the drop! Do you not think that the ocean can take everything from the drop?”
I will never forget this most special and blessingful moment with Guru! He showered upon me his love and concern, and wiped away all my difficulties with a single question. I will be always grateful.
I am a tiny drop
Inside an infinite ocean of light.
I have only to expand slowly and steadily
To become the ocean itself,
And then I shall unmistakably
Be able to claim the entire ocean
As my own, very own.
Sri Chinmoy 2